just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
