i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
