what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize