Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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