And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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