I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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