I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
