This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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