her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What happened to fro yo and sex?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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