Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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