I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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