Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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