Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize