Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
