wanna go halves on a baby?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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