I am midnight drunk by noon
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
