careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
