Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So. Much. Porn.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
