So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
