Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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