i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
