PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
