You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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