yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
