Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
