Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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