Can i not drive my cunt home
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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