gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
