she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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