he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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