this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
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It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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