i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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