Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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