oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
