Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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