I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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