I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
