dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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