My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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