You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
