What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
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She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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