I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
