I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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