There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We're using joints as your birthday candles
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
