I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
