id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
