An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
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I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
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we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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