this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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