if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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