I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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