OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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