I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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