all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
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But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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