how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
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The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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