In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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