She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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