Screwed.edu
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize