I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
