A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
